I remembered our first Christmas as a couple, this time she does not reproach me this heaviness of my steps was to become one of our many pretexts to shouting matches. Her mother wore a gown of white linen, a little hippie a little kibbutz. She refused to sleep together in one room of Matilda and I were relegated to the basement, a sofa bed, with spiders and the smell of cat piss that reigned throughout the house, but had really his castle here. It stank in the corners of walls, it stank in that small room which shrank under the stairs, which served both storage (which had to serve them for the last time before the birth of Christmas, the younger brother Mathilde) and storage for toys and dolls have lost their raison d'etre.
There were cobwebs in every corner. I remember thinking it was normal that the house had been virtually neglected for nearly three years, while in the U.S., it was normal there was the release, but same time I thought it was a long time they had returned, it was not okay to let go like that.
Several years later, Mathilde would hang next to that same pseudo bed on which I briefly thought to masturbate for lack of a relief to my devouring sexual desire. I had not gone far when I realized that it was cracking on all sides on all sides. Several years later, by hanging himself with this support beam above the fireplace, agonize Matilda was hoping to have made a calculation error, hoping that the rope or the beam would yield, she would die casting a last look at this basement where she was ashamed when she was in bad faith (eg when she refused to make the link between smell and disgusting that it was not a but three cats in one time she was five at any one time), and when she restrained felt too tired to do it. It was after all an eternal, than attacking the cleanliness in this large room furnished badly, badly hung, wet, smelling a mixture of piss and that the year 1974 must have felt like with all these shades of brown and orange, the whole palette of shades dripping. It was the place where Matilda was dying.
